Sunday, December 26, 2010

Pathways part 2

More of the Maria story.

There was one long winter night, when I was twelve, Josef eleven, and the little boys nine and seven, when we were all gathered close around the hearth, a fire blazing in the fireplace and our bodies wrapped in wool blankets. Josef was staring out the window, looking longingly out at the woods. There had been a frightful snowstorm the day before, and he was aching to go out and run through the deep, untouched snow that covered everything. The day had turned out to be far too cold, though, with everything freezing and the air taking on a deathly touch. No, there was no chance my mother or father was going to let any child of theirs out of doors on this day. So thus, he had been caged for the time being.

I was sitting beside him, watching him sleepily. The little boys were sitting closest to the fireplace, clustering around the huge nature book that was their latest read. I had seen that book gathering dust on our shelf for years – to my young eyes, it had seemed nothing but a dreadfully boring drawl about trees and other plants with no pictures. And what sort of use is that, I ask you? How can you know what something is with only words and nothing to show you?

Well, they seemed to find it interesting enough. They hardly seemed aware of anything else, not even noticing the little trail of smoke that drifted from Martin’s backside as they drew close to the fire for more light.

“Martin!” my mother said sharply, leaping forward. “The fire!”

He looked back, saw the singed spot, and yelped, backing away quickly and nearly knocking over Tomas. I knew I shouldn’t have felt like laughing, but it was funny to see. Josef, in his shut-in state, had no trouble with letting out a loud burst of laughter.

“Josef!” My mother barked. He coughed, and leaned back, subdued. Mother was busy seeing to Martin’s trousers. “Oh, dear, I’ll have to patch it again.” she sighed, brushing it off. “Thank heavens you’re not burnt.”

“Why don’t you two boys sit next to me? The light’s still good over here.” Father said, gesturing at the space next to his chair. Chagrined by the painful learning experience, they agreed, crawling over to sit in the empty spot. Mother resettled herself in her chair, and after a few moments all was quiet again.

Then Josef spoke.

“Papa, I saw something strange in the woods yesterday.”

“Did you now?” Father said, puffing on his pipe.

“Yes - I saw a man. He was walking through the trees. His clothes were ragged, and he…..was singing.”

Father raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yes. I thought he might be a minstrel, but he wasn’t walking on the path, and his clothes weren’t the right kind.” Josef said. “He was singing strange words, too – I couldn’t understand any of them.”

“What did they sound like to you?”

Father sounded calm, but I could see that he was very alert. Papa was always suspicious of anyone who walked through his woods, on or off the path.

“Well, sort of like….um….” Josef licked his lips, looking awkward. “Well, like….”

He made a string of slurred, guttural sounds, and stopped when Mother began laughing.

“What?” he demanded, face going red.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Mother said, calming herself. “It’s just….you have never heard anyone speak French, have you?”

“N…no.” Josef muttered.

“Well, if those sounds are anything to go by, then that was what he was speaking. Though what a Frenchman would be doing in our part of the world….”

“Let’s hope he doesn’t stay.” Father said grimly. “I’m willing to tolerate his sort, but the townsmen are not.”

“He was just going through the forest, Papa.” Josef said. He sounded awfully defensive of this ragged Frenchman of his, I thought. “He wasn’t going to stay. He just kept moving.”

“Is that so?” Father settled back in his chair. “Well, good, then. Let’s hope so.”

Later that night, when we were all settled in for the night, I leaned over from my bed (we children all shared a room) and poked Josef in the shoulder.

“Go away, Maria.” Josef growled.

“You talked to him, didn’t you?” I hissed.

“I said, go away, Maria.”

“Josef, you know what Father said –“

“I don’t care what Papa – I mean, Father says!” Josef said angrily.

“You did talk to him, then.”

He turned to glare at me.

“Josef,” I said, “You can’t just walk up to strangers in the forest and-“

“He didn’t look like he could hurt me.” Josef said. “He had holes in his clothes, and he looked starved. He told me he’s been walking for good long time from his country. He didn’t tell me where, though…”

“Josef…..” I tried to think of something to say. Something to shame him, perhaps….make him see why Father had told us not to speak to the strangers that sometimes walk through our forest.

But looking at him again told me that nothing I could say would curb him, for he was asleep. And upon waking the next morning, none of us remembered what had been said the night before.

Over the next few days after hearing Josef’s story of the ragged Frenchman wandering through the forest, Father went out into the woods to find him. Mother told him that he had most likely moved on by now, but Father said that with a foreigner, there was no telling. “He doesn’t know the terrain,” he said. “This forest isn’t small – he’s likely to get lost.”

Getting lost in our forest isn’t like getting lost anywhere else. There was no other place that had our legends. Among outsiders, there had long been stories of evil spirits haunting the woods, frightening creatures that lived in its dark deepness and ate anything that crossed their path – even the flesh of man.

And living in the forest….well, I’m sure you could imagine very well what the townspeople must have thought of us.

After spending a week searching the forest while on his woodsman’s duties, Father finally conceded that the Frenchman had found his way out of the forest. “Although how he managed without the road is…..odd.” he said, sitting at dinner that night and frowning down at his stew.

“Well, perhaps he knew the terrain better than we thought.” Mother said lightly. The whole thing with this wandering Frenchman had her rolling her eyes at Father whenever he made mention of it – to her, it was just a curiosity. Nothing to chase down and question, like Father was doing.

But that’s our family, I suppose. And they are, by law and right, our woods.

Over time, everyone forgot about it, even Josef. He never told me what exactly he said to the foreigner, but I don’t think it was really anything worth bothering about. Knowing Josef, he probably talked the poor man’s ear off, asking question after question and only leaving him alone when the man looked close to violence. Even after getting a lecture from Father, he still talked to anyone who happened across his way. I’m not sure how he managed to get away with it, but I suppose that by then, he had learned how to keep secrets.

While the matter had left everyone else’s mind, though, it was still in mine. I think that was the first time I ever really gave any thought to the world outside of our woods. I had heard of France before, and other names of other places that I had never really known were our neighbors. After giving a great many days to thinking, I asked my mother about it.

The question, as I remember it, was something like, “Mother, where do we live?” I don’t recall the question so well as the answer she gave me: “Nowhere, my darling. We are our own people.”

This, as you might expect, only made me very confused. So much so that I didn’t press her to give me a better answer.

Chapter 2

The life we lived in the forest was one of strict routine – or rather, we would have liked for it to have been that way. But life does not agree with going along with strict routine, as I’m sure you know.

Every morning, my father got up and left the house before the rest of us were awake. He would attend to the chores that needed doing outside, and go hunting when he was able. Mother rose not long after, and started on breakfast. We children rose last – of course – and, after breakfast, went about the house doing our own chores.

Living in the woods, and as far north as we were, there wasn’t much you could do in the way of farming. Many times, men approached Father asking to clear the trees so that at least some of the land could be used for that purpose, but they were always refused (tarnishing our reputation even further). We did have a little garden out back – a few hardy vegetables and herbs, nothing much to boast about. The plants sprouted in the seasons right up to winter, and we saved what we could. My mother had a fine stock of homemade herbal medicines kept safely in one of the cupboards, and we lived on squash and turnips and other tiring garden food when it turned cold. Tending the garden was mostly mine and Josef’s job – Tomas and Martin did more the cleaning up and helping Mother around the house. It wasn’t until later that I was told just how odd this arrangement was – that I was doing the outside jobs when I should have been inside helping my mother. I had been tending the garden as long as I had been able to hold a spade, and so it did not seem to so odd to me. Anyway, I much preferred being outside in the fresh, open air digging in the dirt than being indoors sweeping the floor and sewing up my brother’s torn britches.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Maggie, part something

After they had been there about an hour, Henry popped his head in. Maggie happened to look up and catch the grimace he aimed in her direction, and chuckled in spite of herself.
At this Sister Clegg looked up, glanced over at Henry where he dawdled in the open doorway, and sighed.
“Go get me a nice string of trout, you two,” she said.
Maggie stared at Sister Clegg, then slowly rose from her chair.
“Take off my nice clean apron first. And no catfish. No suckerfish. I said trout, and I mean trout.” She shook a stern finger at her son, who shrugged.
“I reckon there’s a few bass waiting for us. Water’s shallow, but we can find ourselves a nice deep pool, right Maggie?”
Maggie felt almost as if she could cry with relief as she walked out the door. She skipped a little, then ran for the shed where she knew her fishing pole, and Henry’s, had waited, neglected, for weeks on end.
“Hey,” A voice called out as they came in. “You fixing on heading upriver and get a few trout?”
Maggie’s heart skipped a beat. It was Hyrum. When was the last time she’d thought of him? Her mind had been occupied by much more unpleasant things lately.
“Nah. We figured we’d stick around and muck out the stable.”
“Pole’s not much use for that. I’m coming. I’ve got to get out of town… feeling a little crowded, and muffled in all this dust.” Hyrum came out from behind a large pile of baling string and burlap sacks, and Maggie thought her heart would like to fly out of her chest and land, thud, she thought, in the sawdust at his feet.
“You have looked a little crowded lately. Though it didn’t seem to me you minded all that much.” Henry’s tone had a bit of a barb to it.
“Yeah, well. A fellow’s got to get out sometimes. How are you doing, Maggie?” He came up beside her and patted her shoulder.
“Fine,” Maggie said, and smiled up at him. “Your Ma asked us to bring home a string of trout; only trout. So we could use your pole, that’s for sure.”
“I’ll get the mule hitched. Coming down from drills I saw a likely looking pool up in the canyon.”
“Drills?” Maggie grabbed her pole and walked quickly so that she could keep up.
“Nauvoo legion,” Henry cut in. “Didn’t you hear? Hyrum’s joined up. Talk is, he’s trying to impress some of the local girls—“
“Shut it, Hen. Don’t worry about me honing in on your territory.”
Maggie felt a little odd at this response, but the talk soon returned to the sort of funning and friendly chatter she had grown accustomed to with Henry and Hyrum. As they passed the town square, her heart sank as she suddenly remembered Mother Holden.
“I can’t stay too long. Three hours, I’ve got to be back at Holdens,” she called out.
Henry turned and frowned at her. “You sure? Like as not she can find some other girl to help her out this one afternoon?”
Maggie shook her head. Mother Holden had been all manner of kindness with her; it was, she thought, too much kindness to cast away simply because something she fancied more had come along. “No, I’ve got to be back,” she said.
Henry whipped the mule to a faster trot. “Reckon there’s a pool lower down we could try this time?”
Hyrum shrugged. “Sure. There’s a spot or two just below deer creek that might do.”
They made a fine afternoon of it, sitting on the banks and talking and laughing. Hyrum related a few of his brother Samuel’s exploits in the Drama Association. Henry tried to press him for details about his drilling with the Nauvoo Legion, but Hyrum remained fairly evasive on that front. “We’re just doing exercises. Getting used to positions, weapons… learning maneuvers and going on patrols. Nothing to get worked up much about.”
“Reckon they’d let me join? I’ve got a bit of time on my hands these days.”
“What about Turners’ wheat harvest?”
“That’s near on finished.”
“There’s corn. Pa’s set up for us to trade with Walls; they’re going to help us with apples and peaches and cherries.”
“Consarn it. Why do you get to go off in the canyons, Hy, and I’m still tripping along behind people picking up corncobs like I’m still in skirts? You’re only two years older’n me, after all. Maybe I ought to get myself a straw hat and some slicking grease.”
Maggie couldn’t help a chuckle at the thought of Henry combing oil through his hair, wearing a straw hat and trying to look charming and grown up. This was the boy, after all, who still flung mud on young ladies and had to be reminded by his mother not to swear.
He turned and gave her a baleful glance, then tossed a pebble at her.
She ducked.
“That all the answer you’re going to give me, then? Just duck and cover, is it? I think I like that. You’ve gotten right docile, Maggie. Downright ladylike, in point of fact.” Henry reached for a handful of mud.
“Holdens!” Maggie screeched. “I can’t show up covered in mud, Henry.”
Henry wiped his palm on his pants and sighed. He cast his line again, and watched the current, a brooding expression on his face.
The ride back was quiet, restful. An hour of sun and the sounds of the river had nearly erased all the panic from Maggie’s thoughts. She felt more able to separate them out—the good from the bad, the probable from the unlikely.
Uncle Forth. Maggie nodded to herself, and rested her back in the corner of the wagon. The scenery went by lazily, and as they descended back into the valley, Maggie was amazed at the sudden feeling of tenderness she felt for the little collection of buildings and streets that ran, criss-crossed and neatly squared off, against the dusty brown of the desert. She saw the Cleggs’ orchards, green in contrast to the brown, as they blanketed several blocks east of town, and the tall, waving fields of wheat and corn.
Uncle Forth liked to be stirred up. He listened to those who would give him what he wished—a scandal. Ma Alden had never been very keen on her situation, either; Pa Alden was the one who had the faith. But he also tended to step back and let others take charge.
It could be true, Maggie thought. What Uncle Forth was saying could be true in some ways. People taking the law into their own hands; it happened. She knew of several examples; selfishness and fear and greed existed and in a place like this, there was less consequence for such things because people thought they were less likely to be found out. Some people, Maggie thought, live the gospel because they believe it. Others come along because it would mean abandoning the people one loved, if one left it. And still others could get het up in their mind as to their own importance; they could make things up in their head and take more on themselves than they ought. Killing was no small thing. It made her sick to think something like that might have been done in the name of anything brother Brigham preached.
And that was the sticking point for Maggie’s thoughts. Uncle Forth had said Brother Brigham preached something called Blood Murder, and Ma Alden had said she remembered it, too. It wasn’t just a fancy for Ma Alden, either… there had been real fear in her voice.
Maggie reckoned she ought to ask. Someone safe to ask… that was the thing of it. Who could she talk to about this and not have it spread all over town that she was coming to a bad end, or have it ricochet back onto Pa Alden and make people speculate?
That evening, as she rocked the littlest Holden to sleep, and watched as Sister Holden began tidying up the dishes left behind by the Literary Society, the thought came to her that she could perhaps ask this woman, this redheaded woman who seemed not to shock easily when she asked frank questions about love poetry and who seemed to take life honestly as it came, might be the one to ask. Surely she wasn’t a gossip; she wasn’t someone who was weak-minded enough to need to spread things about others. And she was intelligent enough… she was perceptive and curious enough that she had to have heard something about Blood Murder, if it ever had been preached.
There was no real easy way to get into it, Maggie thought to herself. Best just ask. She swallowed, then cleared her throat.